Missing Someone At Christmas

Christmas is a time for love & laughter...

and spreading Christmas cheer...

Time with loved ones and family insanity, 

but *she* isn't here. 

I feel her presence 

but I can't touch. 

It's been 8 years ago today, 

and I still miss her so much. 

I try not to think about it

and go about my day, 

But how is that fair to me or my heart...? 

Grief will get to you either way. 

So I take my time to grieve my loss

and feel my hurt from my heart. 

After many shed tears, I close my eyes

and I know we're not far apart. 

She's sitting right beside me smiling at me

telling me everything is alright. 

With tear filled eyes, I smile back 

knowing she's right. 

Her spirit hugs me and I hug her back

and my body breathes relief. 

I soak up the moment as much as I can...

These visits are far too brief. 

Now it's time to change the tune 

from sadness and celebrate...

the life she lived and the life I have, 

for it's up to me to make it great. 

So I get up and go to the mirror

to get ready for the day. 

But there's something in my reflection

that wasn't there yesterday. 

My eyes, my smile, 

my expressions, my hair...

I look at myself 

and she's standing there. 

With a smile on her lips 

and a twinkle in her eye, 

she lets me know 

that this isn't good bye. 

Through all these things, and so much more, 

I know I can derive, 

Although I can't see or touch her...

through me, she's alive. 

**Take the time to hug those you love today. You never know which one will be your last. So make it count. Merry Christmas!!**

Happy Birthday Mama

To the woman who carried me; gave birth to me;
who held me when I was happy, sick, or sad;
the woman who showed me that some problems
really aren't so bad.

To the woman who taught me about 
the "fun" in dysfunctional
and how to laugh at myself and RANDOM things,
who taught me to reach for the stars
and always follow my dreams.


From you I got my smile, my hands,
my butt, and THANK GOD my nose;
my love of people and dance,
and my nutty side I suppose.

I catch myself sometimes picking up the phone
to share good news or because I've had a bad day.
Then I remember heaven doesn't have 4G or internet,
so, instead, I bow my head and pray.

You gave me the love of children
and taught me to love people for what's on the inside and not the out.
I wouldn't be the woman I am today if it weren't for you,
I have no doubt.

I think of you often
and miss you more than words could ever convey.
To realize you won't be there to spoil my children or help me fix my hair on my special day.

But I know you're in a better place,
this I know deep down in my heart.
And because of this and 
my faith in God,
I know we won't be long apart.

I'm your greatest production,
that's what you always say...
But it's because of your guidance, support, and love
that you showed me along the way.


I write all of this to say,
on this 26th day in June,


HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you mama...

my Mouse Over the Moon <3 :'^)

Dream

Dream...what does that mean to us? Is it something we do while we sleep? While we're awake? Or something we live out? If we're lucky, it may start out as something that is just in our heads or our hearts, but turns into our life...something we live.
Many of us start out as kids with big dreams. We can be anything we want to be...or so we're told. We start out by dreaming of what we want to be when we grow up...then what kind of car we want when we turn 16, what school we want to go to, what career we want to have, where we want to live, what kind of house we want...the kind of person we want to marry. And the dreams go on and on.
There are people in your life that will nurture your dreams and there are those that will smother them. The true difference between rags and riches...between a dream and reality...is mindset. If you have a "this is all there is" attitude...then you're right...that's all there is FOR YOU because that's all you expect for yourself. When you stop and look where you want to go...see where you want to be...and don't take “no” for an answer, no matter the obstacles...that's when you achieve greatness.

From the words of William Shakespeare "Be not afraid of greatness; some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them."
It's important to surround yourself with those who believe in you.... no matter how crazy your dreams may be. They are YOUR dreams, not theirs. THEY don't need to do it...they just need to support you THROUGH it.

Dance

Dance...they say...is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music. I say...hmmm....sometimes. But it's sooo much more than that! Dancing isn't just something you do...it's who you are. It's something that flows within you and through you, exposing a feeling...a passion to all who see it. When you're truly in the dance, a certain magic happens...it's like those who witness it almost become a part of it with you. It's a truly amazing feeling to witness and feel just a piece of what the other person is feeling within that dance and even more so when you are the dancer invoking those feelings in others.

In life, we have many experiences. But those experiences mean so much more when there is someone to share it with, whether it's a loved one or a stranger, praising you for what you've accomplished. When someone you've never met comes up to you after a performance or simply goofing off and dancing socially, and they tell you how awesome of a dance that was...that they want to be able to dance just like you....       .......there's no words to describe it. It's a feeling. It's a feeling of joy, excitement, pride, humbleness, and maybe even a little bashfulness (at least for me because it makes me blush). It's something that I never get tired of, and I never will. 
When doing what I love invokes such a reaction out of another, it's such an amazing feeling. I even remember getting that kind of confirmation from a pro-dancer that I'd never actually met, but looked up to. I went to introduce myself and she said that she knew who I was and she loved my dancing. That's an amazing moment I'll never forget. It makes you feel so accomplished; like your hard work is paying off. However, getting that reassurance from a loved one...someone who has seen you grow, in dance or in life, it fills your heart with so much joy and pride and is different from all the other praise you get from others. And it never gets old. I hope I continue to improve my dancing where each new generation of dancers (of all ages) continue to feel what I feel when I'm dancing and want to move forward.

To touch, to move, to inspire...this is the true gift of dance.

Here I Am...Just Me

Hello all!!
Welcome to my very first blog!! I can't believe it's taken me this long to do this, but thanks to my girl Jill, here I am...just me. I'm hoping this can be a more in depth way (at least more so than facebook) for my family and friends from across the globe to find out what's going on in my life, whether it be good, bad, ugly, or just plain crazy...which is how my family likes it :)
The reason I'm starting this blog is because I've wanted to do something like this for a long time and I now finally have the time and frame of mind to do so. I've just graduated from college with my bachelors (which means I'll be back in school again for my masters after a short break) and now have a little more time on my hands. With this extra time, I want to read more (which I finished a book last night that I started a week ago...which is SUPER quick for me), actually GO to a gym and workout rather than just be a member, decorate my apartment, sort through and actually PRINT OFF pictures, make a scrapbook (either a real one or via Shutterfly), and...of course...start a blog. So I kind of got started on the first one (reading) and starting a blog was the next most fun on my list to start....I'm thinking the gym might be last LOL. So.....I hope you join with me in my journey of laughter and love, happiness and heartache, questions and quirks, discoveries and dreams, and maybe even frustrations and fears.

WELCOME TO....just....ME :)